Breaking Point

Today I felt like I reached my breaking point.  Some days I feel like I can manage being a mama, wife, teacher, and runner well.  I feel like I give 100% in each of these roles.  I feel good, accomplished.  Today was not one of those days. 

I had an incredibly busy day at work.  I didn't have one moment free.  I was busy the entire teaching day (and today is supposed to be my easy day!).  After school my classroom was filled with students wanting extra help which normally I'm happy to do.  But today I really wanted to leave on time so I could pick up the boys, come home, and we'd all head out for a family 4 mile run.  But I didn't leave work until when I was supposed to be arriving home.  By the time I got the boys and made it home it was past 5 (dinner is usually at 5:30 since the boys go to bed early).  I was frustrated that we weren't going to have time to go for a run together.  To top it all off the entire 20 minute car ride home from day care L through a huge tantrum and was screaming at the top of his lungs the whole way home.

M said he'd watch the boys, so I laced up my shoes and was out the door.  I made it to the end of the street when I broke down.  I was exhausted.  I hadn't eaten anything since noon.  I was thirsty.  I was so busy this afternoon that I didn't even have time to think about drinking water so I was going on 5+ hours without any fluids.  Plus I knew that I only had a short amount of time with my boys tonight before they went to bed. 

I turned around and came home.  Today I feel like a failure.  I feel like I'm not juggling everything in my life well.  I'm having a hard time being a good mama, wife, and teacher.  I feel out of balance.  Maybe forcing myself to run might have been a good idea.  Maybe not.  I hope tomorrow is a better day.