Motivation

I've been thinking a lot about what was my motivation to keep running yesterday.  What prompted me to finish the half marathon when I wanted to quit after the first mile?  I had a valid reason.  I was rear ended 3 days earlier.  I had whiplash.  I was in pain.  Running might have made my injuries worse.  Yet for some reason I kept running. 

One thing that really helped me was a sign I saw around mile 3.  It said, "Pain is temporary.  Quitting is forever."  That sign really resonated with me.  I knew that the pain I was in was temporary.  It would go away (for the most part) once I finished.  But if I quit, I would always know that I quit when running my first half marathon - my first race.  I didn't want that hanging over my head. 

I decided to finish it.  While I'm incredibly proud that I did, I'm not proud of my time though.  I'm still hard on myself.  I'm hoping I can learn to focus on the accomplishment more than the final time as time progresses.

Oakland Half Marathon Recap

I felt pretty good waking up this morning.  I went to the chiropractor on Friday (the day after I was rear ended) and the adjustment helped my pain level immensely.  I rested on Saturday so I thought I would be good to go.  I didn't think it would be a fast race for me but I definitely felt confident that I could do it.  I ate my usual breakfast of a packet of oatmeal around 7am before we left the house.  We got to the starting line early.  I met up with my students who were also running and chatted with them.  I should have brought along a snack to eat.  I wasn't thinking that the race starts at 9:15 whereas I usually begin my longer runs an hour earlier.  As we queued up to run my stomach growled.  Little did I know that that would be the least of my worries.

I started off running with my friend.  We had talked about how we'd run together the first 4-5 miles and then I'd break away to try and increase my speed.  I typically run 1-2 minutes faster than she does normally.  After the first mile my back started hurting - like really hurting.  Every time my feet touched the ground I felt this spasm of pain right in the middle of my lower back.  I wanted to quit.  I didn't think I could finish.  I managed to run the first three miles around 11:20 miles which isn't too much slower than my normal pace.  Mile four was a bit downhill so my time was around 10:34. 

I told my friend to go ahead not long after this.  I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up this pace much longer.  I was in so much pain.  I really wanted to quit but there weren't a lot of medic tents around so I didn't even know how I'd get back to the starting line.  Plus I really didn't want a DNF after my name on my first race ever.  Around mile 5 I saw my school's water station.  It boosted my spirits to see some of my students and coworkers there.  It gave me energy to keep going a bit more. 

Miles 5-10 were slower.  I was slowly going from 12 minute miles to close to 13 minute miles.  Unfortunately this coincided with a not as scenic part of the course.  I was happy that the half marathon route merged with the marathon route because there were more people around me and I didn't feel like I was in the back of the pack.  Mentally this helped me a lot since I was feeling so slow and dejected. 

I ran into one of my students who was running around mile 8.  We ran together for awhile.  I ended up passing her after a little while.  Each step was more painful.  I wanted to cry.  I would walk through the water stations and it hurt just as much to walk so instead I kept running even if I was barely shuffling my feet at this point. 

We hit the lake around mile 10 where I ran into another one of my students at a water station there.  His smile cheered me up and I told myself that the last bit was around the lake - the same lake I have run so many times now.  These last few miles ranged from 13-14 minutes each.  They were so painfully slow.  I wanted to die.  I wanted to be over.  But I knew if I had run this far I could finish. 

When I made the last turn around the lake and saw the finish line ahead I sped up.  I knew I was almost done.  I saw some of my students cheering for me which boosted my spirits.  I also saw M right in front of the finish line cheering for me.  I almost cried seeing him and realizing that this was all over. 

My final time was 2:43.  I was hoping to break 2:30 but 13 minutes over isn't bad considering how painful it was for me.  I saw my good friend Laura after I finished. 
 
The first thing I asked her was, " You people do this for fun?"  I couldn't fathom why anyone would put themselves through such torture!  I'm hoping my opinion of racing changes because I have another one lined up for June!

It's done.

I did it.  I ran my first half marathon.  It was a HARD race.  This was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I don't recommend getting rear ended 3 days before running a half marathon.  My back was in spasms after the first mile.  I'll do a race recap later but for now I will enjoy the feeling of accomplishment while icing my back and trying not to move.

This is really happening...

It's official.  I have my bib.  I'm really running 13.1 miles tomorrow!  I'm nervous now because my back has been hurting me all day.  I am hoping getting rear ended on Thursday isn't going to derail my half marathon plans tomorrow.  Time will tell.

2 Days Away

My first half marathon is in 2 days.  It seems like it wasn't really that long ago that I started the 12 week training program.  Yet here I am - 2 days away from running my first (and hopefully not last!) half marathon.

The past few weeks of training have been hard for me.  Life has been really hectic and finding the time to squeeze in the runs has been a challenge.  I've made all of my long runs on the weekend but have only been doing one other run most weeks.  On a  good week I'd run 2 additional times.  Despite that I'm still feeling pretty good.  I haven't set a time goal for myself.  My goal is just to finish this half marathon.  Once I get my first one under my belt then I'll create a time goal for my next one (June 8th) and train for that.

Sunday, March 9th I ran 12 miles - my furthest distance.  While it was difficult and challenging I remember feeling like I could push myself to run another mile.  It made me for the first time really feel like I can do this.  I will finish it.  It's a good feeling to have.

Yesterday I was rear ended.  Thankfully she wasn't going too fast and there's minimal damage to my car but today I woke up with a sore lower back.  It hurts to stand, it hurts to sit.  I'm worried about how this will affect me on Sunday.  I have an appointment this afternoon with my chiropractor and then I'll get a massage after.  I'm hoping between those two things the pain will improve and I'll be able to run Sunday. 

As of now I'm going into this with the mindset that I will finish it, even if I'm in pain and in tears.  I hope I can keep up that strong determination. 

New Shoes

I've been a big fan of my Saucony Kinvaras.  I love how light they are and how my feet can really feel the ground when I run.  But on a couple of my long runs my right arch has hurt once I got past 8 miles or so.  I've been told I'm neutral in my left foot and I have the tendency to slightly overpronate on my right foot.  I went to Fleet Feet Sports to ask them what they suggested.  They recommended I try the Saucony Cortana. 

It's the big sister of the Kinvara.  It still has the same 4mm drop which I like only it offers a little extra support in the arch.  I took them out for a 4 mile run and they felt great.  I'm not sure if I'll use them at my half marathon next week because I won't have broken them in that much.  We will see how many miles I get on them between now and then.

6 Miles

I've struggled with running lately.  I've hit the wall in my training program when I just want to be done running for awhile.  I'm tired of constantly trying to squeeze it into my already busy schedule.  Finding the motivation to get out there and do it has been hard.  Today I had an easy run of 6 miles.  I really didn't want to do it and after 3 miles I was very close to stopping but I finished and felt proud of myself after.

One side effect of running that I'm not enjoying are the blisters.  :-(

Under 10 minutes!

I did not want to run today.  I just wasn't feeling it.  I had a busy morning and early afternoon and I was tired.  I think because I was only scheduled to run 5 miles I felt like I could blow it off.  It was a recovery week so it didn't seem as important to get in.  I was pretty much resigned not to run today. 

But I just told myself to get up and go.  I'm so glad I did.  I ran my 5 miles averaging just shy of a 11 minute a mile pace.  I've been running with a coworker who runs a bit slower than me (12 minute miles) so my pace has naturally slowed down a bit to stay with her.  I feel like I've gotten used to running at this pace.  It felt good to get back to my usual 11 minute mile pace. 

As I came upon 3.4 miles I was feeling really strong.  I told myself to push it and see how fast I could go.  I was shocked when I was keeping a 9:40 pace for the last 1.6 miles. 

This was much faster than I normally run.  It felt awesome.  It got me thinking that maybe I should put in some speed work into my training.  For so long I've just said that I've been happy to RUN that I didn't care how fast (or slow) I went, as long as I was running.  Today's run sparked a bit of fire in me.  I think when I start training for my next half marathon (11 weeks from my first one!) that I will add in a tempo run each week.